7 Little Things
Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes your mental health makes life harder. Here is a list of 7 little things my fiancée does that help make life a little easier for me and I am sure she doesn’t even know how much of an impact these 7 little things have on mood for the day:
- Coffee. Every morning, my fiancée rolls out of bed, goes downstairs, and starts the keurig like clockwork. It may seem minor, but some days, that is the only thing that pulls me out of bed and gets me to work. I look forward to my coffee like I look forward to the weekend. I don’t know why but it, in so many ways, gets me ready for the day and helps me focus on the needs of my students.
- Encourages Mental Health Days. This one is really little because I obviously can’t take off every time I am having a depressive episode. However, my fiancée knows the days that I one-hundred and ten percent need to stay home; and she encourages me to do it. She knows that no matter how the day goes, I will not be there mentally and I will be on the verge of a meltdown all day. Working as a mental health specialist, I need to be there physically, emotionally, and most importantly mentally. On these rare mental health days, she always checks up on me to make sure I’ve done the bare minimum but necessary human things.
- Drives no matter the destination. I hate driving. I hate driving for so many reasons. I think the main reason is that my last job had a TON of driving. Working as a case manager, in a county 20 minutes away from my house, with clients spanning a 25 mile radius, I put 35,000 miles on my brand new car in the matter of a year. I was averaging 100+ miles a day and it was the worst. But, I always knew once I was home, no matter where else we needed to go, I wouldn’t have to drive. I could sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride (as much as possible since I get car sick really easily) which was never a thing for me before I found my fiancée. I love that she loves to drive.
- Tiny Reminders. Did you take your meds? Did you call your sister to remind her of our lunch plans? Did you call your doctor? Did you text your mom about this weekend? Did you put *blank* on the calendar? I used to feel like I was being nagged. But, recently I have found myself forgetting more (a common side effect to depression and anxiety medication). My fiancée has a horrible memory, but she always reminds me to add the important things to the calendar. My calendar is my sanity and the little reminders help keep me sane in this chaotic life.
- Planned Weekends Off. Being a human is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Some weeks are better than others but we have definitely found that I need a weekend off from activities at least once a month to stay ~*stable*~ and personable to whoever I am around. Aside from dinners with either one of our parents, we will literally schedule a weekend at home. I use this weekend to catch up on sleep, clean, or just spend time with my person and my fur babies, and reboot for whatever comes next.
- Scheduled Busy Weekends. I need a schedule if we are leaving the house. Before we leave I have to know exactly what we are planning to do while we are out, how long we will be gone, who we are going to see, and every other detail my mind can conjure up. Once I am physically out of the house, I am good. The schedule can change (within reason) and I will hold control but it is absolutely crucial I have that verbal run-down of what is expected for the day and she never questions that need.
- “I love you” texts. Every day, multiple times a day, no matter what kind of mood I am in or how resistant my response is, I am told how loved I am. Three little words. Eight individual letters. Whether it is verbal paired with a kiss goodbye in the morning, a sweet mid-day text, a cute little note in my lunch box, or the last words I hear before I fall asleep, I can always count on it…and I do count on it.
Never settle for anything less than a partner willing to do the little things and always remember the little things they are willing to do for you. I constantly struggle to allow myself to accept this patient and tender love, and if you have ever had to fight your mental health to believe it, you know this exact struggle. These 7 little things are my love language and I remind myself every day how lucky I am to be loved by and love the someone willing to do these little things for me every damn day.
~ Mel ♡